D'var Torah

This week’s Torah reading, Vayishlach, focuses on the second half of the life of Jacob. In the past few weeks, we have read about his early life, his feud with his brother Esau and his flight to his uncle, Laban, whose daughters, Leah and Rachel, he marries. Now Jacob is an established chieftain, returning to his home with four wives, eleven sons and one daughter and much wealth. In this portion he returns to Canaan and is forced to face his past and to establish himself, his family, and his legacy for the future.

Coming to terms with the past and setting oneself on a new path is never easy. For Jacob, this change begins to happen after a harrowing nocturnal encounter. Jacob has heard that his brother Esau is approaching with four hundred men. Years back, Jacob had stolen both Esau’s birthright and his blessing and certainly has much to fear.  He divides his community and his possessions into two camps, placing them on opposite sides of the Jabbok River. When they are settled and he is alone and sleeping, he encounters a being – a man? an angel? We do not know but the two wrestle throughout the night. As dawn is approaching the being asked to be released by Jacob but Jacob refuses until he is granted a blessing. The creature asks Jacob his name, and then blesses Jacob by saying: “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have wrestled with beings divine and human and you have prevailed.” 

Like Jacob, we all carry baggage around on our journeys – baggage of past deeds, baggage that weighs us down. But there comes a time when we must engage with our mistakes, our embarrassments, our demons, and wrestle with them until we understand them well enough to gain something from them. In our understanding we are blessed with new insights about who we truly are and what makes us tick. We may see our family in a new dynamic or our goals through a different lens. When this searching is honest and open it is a blessing, and we can move into the future with a greater sense of wholeness, purpose, and clarity. 

It is interesting that although the being said that Jacob both wrestled and prevailed, it is the “wrestling” word that became Jacob’s new name, Yisrael. Why didn’t the being name Jacob after the word “prevail?”  It seems to me that the learning and the changing and the growing that all of us need come from the struggle. It is important to overcome our past errors, but even more valuable is what we gain as we wrestle with them.  

May all of our struggles be fruitful. May we prevail and be blessed with new knowledge of ourselves – knowledge that helps us rename who and what we are.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Amy Schwartzman